40 is Fabulous!! ;)

Whoever stated the term age is just a number was a 100 percent accurate. We know 40 as the so called dreaded , “MIDDLE AGE”. The midlife crisis years, yes, i once at 39 cried knowing i was turning the dreaded 40, however, the 40’s have been good to me. Sure, i have the normal everyday maladies that each one of us in the human race have however, there is a certain aura that differs in your middle years that helps to change who you are and what you see as important. Sure, these years we may see our first gray hairs, maybe some of us see a wrinkle or two, then there are the lovely mammograms and colonoscopies,, ” Oh what a delight!” It also means we are half way in the grave, half way to 80, oh my did i just say that? πŸ™‚ But brush it off, 40 is FABULOUS!!!!

As i see it and some may beg to differ, i see confidence, security, we know what we will tolerate, who we are, and what we will not tolerate. We stand proud of beliefs and stand firm. We do not feel the need to impress anyone including but not limited to family, friends, and better yet men! We spent our 20’s trying to impress the world, some of us focused on families, careers and trying to maintain our youth and grow up at the same time. Our 30’s we married possibly divorced and remarried. We started to learn our mistakes and not repeat them, raised our kids and hung onto the years we regretted not making certain moves or trying something new, or settling because we thought we had too. But hang on if your not there or you are 40, one bit of advice hang on and enjoy the ride 40 something is a adventure embrace it, love it, learn from it. 40 is fun, Fantabulous, flirty, and unforgettable!!

In these years your self esteem is at all time high! Your probably settled in your career and if your not go get it, i am learning its never to late. It is only too late when we die!! At this age we pick our friends forget about facebook, social media, aka how many likes, how many friend requests, at this age we pick are friends and hold them close, we also find the ones we let slip away. We learn what matters, and are aware time is precious and not given. We do not waste time on nonsense, and people who are not worth it. We also learn what truly matters and what is superficial and not worth holding onto. Let me provide a example. My family and close friends know this story. Here it goes.

When i was 17 years old i was a senior in high school. I was picked by a modeling agency in NY to model swimsuits. I was flabbergasted, delighted, insanely excited about the possibilities this door would open into. Sadly, my mother cut this dream off before i had a chance to explore them. POOF my dreams went down the toilet, i held this against her pretty much until now. And i even still sort of still do, she did not let me pursue who i was and what i was meant to do, however , although with much arguing from my father in my corner she did not budge, If you knew my mother you would understand. After she did this i settled for one trip of modeling in a mall fashion show, did a modeling video, and became a short lived hooters girl, and then said screw it. But that does not matter now i realize at 40 yes, although some dreams some things get screwed up we are who we are and no one and nothing can stop us if we want something. My point is at 17 and even up until now modeling, and looks while important are superficial, at 40 we are established, secure, confident, and even if we cant wear that tiny bikini anymore, we turn just as many heads, if not a whole lot and did i say ALOT more heads when we enter a room not because our midriff is out but because our beauty is in our face, our demeanor, our confidence, our sexuality, and knowledge and experience, our younger counter parts wish like we once did that they rocked the confidence that being in your 40’s means!! I never felt so beautiful then i do now, and i am sure you 40 somethings agree, these are the best years enjoy them, embrace them!! BECAUSE…..


Concussions Stink!!!

Hey guys, just want to say bear with me, i was diagnosed with a concussion and it literary just happened because someone ran a red light and totaled my car with my husband and me inside. This happened simultaneously with starting my new blog. I can not stare at the screen long and this is affected my whole life however, I have so many upcoming articles i can not wait to share so please be patient and hang in there i can not wait to post some inspiring articles and blog about many things. So many things to write and share. I will try my best to get something out there this week and btw concussions stink!! Wear your seatbelt and always be on the look for careless drivers, they can change your life in a minute!! NIGHT πŸ˜‰

For My Ladies out there subtle signs he is “INTO YOU”!

Hey girls, pulled from many objective studies and personal experience, body language says it all. Wondering if he is into you, some sure fire signs he is!! Take note πŸ™‚

1.) Stares at you. Not just your eyes but your whole face. 2.) Eye contact, even while talking to others. 3.) His feet point towards you, his body points towards you, he mimics your movements subconsciously. 4.) Licks his lips, well that is a no brainer duh πŸ˜‰ 5.) Has to touch you, either gently on the arm, touch you lightly on the back, or is bold and confident to give you a hug. Touching you is a clear indication he is well, “INTO YOU”! 6.) Dilated pupils, look at the eyes ladies as they are the window to the soul!! 7.) Man spreading, yes, it is a thing, it means he is showing his manhood by facing you with confidence πŸ™‚ and who does not like a man with confidence!! 8.) Leaning in, no not for a kiss πŸ™‚ just to hear and listen better if he leans in ladies he wants to hear every word. 9.) Shows his teeth when he smiles, clear indicator men do not show there teeth, but can not help it when they like you. 10.) Runs his fingers though his hair, fixes his shirt, making sure he is at his best and can attract you. See ladies if they try, if they do all these things and laugh at your silly jokes well, they just might be that, INTO YOU!!

Blessed to be alive…AMEN!

Each day is a blessing and in the blink of a eye it can be gone! Yesterday leaving the surgical center where my husband was receiving injections for his back a lady ran a red light and totaled my car with us inside. We both walked out thankful to be alive. The woman had been given careless, reckless driving. With that said, We both woke up this morning happy to see the sun shining because had that woman hit us just a few inches more either way we both would have been killed or severely disabled. We both are shook up i can honestly say it puts things in perspective, this isn’t my first rodeo with facing death. However, Someone must have been watching over us, that is my husbands words! Myself, i must be like a cat i have nine lives. πŸ™‚ Today i started to think more clearly, yesterday after the accident i was so incoherent the doctor did a lot of cardiac testing because i was depriving my heart and brain of oxygen, resulting in not functioning and understanding anything that was going on. Guess i was in shock. My husband is in a lot of pain today, when we where hit he was screaming in agony it was a horrible sound! If i can give one bit of advice to anyone out there it is, Hug your kids, hug your spouse, hug your parents, your significant other, hug a friend you don’t know if you will tomorrow!

Being at the mercy of ADHD and how to fight back!

One thing I have learned in life is that no one escapes battles in their life whether it is your health, either emotional or physical, financial, relationships or something that just happens. For some of us in life, we get a magnitude of issues and as I always say someone else has it far worse so I try to be thankful for what I am dealing with versus what I am not! My worst trait has been I am not a very optimistic person I am teaching myself how to change that. I do believe these traits are genetic as well as environmental and learned behavior when we are young. Let me say first and foremost I am not a psychologist, I do not have a degree in psychology. I did take a semester of psychology courses for medical assisting that gave me some insight on some conditions that deal with mental health, however, that’s insight some knowledge, not a degree. With that said, I can, however, speak as a mother who has been battling a condition hand in hand with my son who has been in this fight for the last eight years. This fight we are fighting is the green-eyed monster of ADHD. This condition can happen to anyone it has no preference it does not matter if your rich, poor, it is diverse and demanding here is our battle and one we still struggle with daily.

When my son was in the fourth grade I noticed him struggling daily in school and at home. I attributed this to the fact that I was going through a divorce with his father who I spent twenty years with. There was also the fact that we were moving to a new place and that the kids were as nervous as I was with starting over alone just them and me. While there was some excitement, to be honest we had many ideas and plans the kids and I, however, there was also stress and fear. Their dad and I had been together since we where young adults and part of me could not wait to see life through a different lens, however, we make choices and I thought my son’s hyperactivity was the result. After all these years I finally do not have to take the blame for what I thought was my fault or a result of my decision it was the green-eyed monster displaying it’s ugly head at the same time we were going through these changes. ADHD!

My son struggled daily. There were emotional outbursts that no one could control, not even him. No matter how hard he would try he would just scream and become so angry so difficult I can not describe the intense rollercoaster we were about to ride. There are many disorders that go hand in hand with ADHD, these are some and not limited to but they are ODD aka as oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar depression, depression, anxiety disorders, and learning disabilities. My son has a few of these as well. Daily for the last eight years, there has been uncontrollable outbursts that have nearly caused so much destruction in our all of our lives that I thought our lives where over. My son would go on a rant for hours, six hours to say the least breaking things, screaming, so out of control, there were times I needed assistance. This was as he got older and the years went on and he became a teen. It just got so bad the older he had gotten. At least when he was younger the screaming, the hitting, and the breaking things where smaller as he got bigger so did his behaviors. At first, when he was younger I did a form of therapy known as play therapy. I saw the therapist regularly with him thinking this was stress related I also sought help through his pediatrician. After trying to handle him, raise two other kids and hold a job as a single mother is was at that point they actually diagnosed him via a test that is called the Conners scale. This is an assessment test for ADHD which is given to the teacher and the parent as well as the physician to answer questions honestly on a scale about your child by analyzing your responses they can determine if your child does have ADHD. Needless to say my son not only had ADHD but the most severe form of ADHD. However, this was just the start of a long road ahead. 

I did not believe in medication, immediately I was scared to put my son on stimulants. To someone that may sound counterintuitive, why give a stimulant to someone who is hyper? Well, it has the opposite effect if you do indeed have ADHD. The medication works by improving the way certain parts of the brain communicate with each other. To someone who does not have ADHD, well that medication is dangerous to say the least for cardiac reasons, addictions and others. You will realize that these medications do manage the condition however, it is not a cure. Needless to say, after countless years I learned this medication would save his life, the rest of the family, my second marriage, and any hope of a normal life for any of us. It took me years to realize this, and it took may psychologists, many programs year after year, and still present till this day he is still in therapy. Sometimes I get angry at myself for waiting so long to medicate. I learned that medication has its time and value, and after what we had been through we could have had some relief earlier. Keep in mind medication is not everything, he needs therapy to handle his behaviors and emotions, and I do therapy with him along with his stepfather and sister to manage the ups and downs of this condition and how it affects us all. We also are there to support him as he is my son, my heart, and my life. It is a road that he may be on forever. That we will all be on forever. it does not make or break you if you realize what steps you need to take and that you will have up’s and downs and if I can give one bit of advice seek help immediately ADHD is in no ones control you are at its mercy. We were!

In case you think you or someone you know may have this condition please seek help if you notice any of these signs go to your doctor, and adults are no exception. Some signs to look for: Forgetfulness, Disorganization, Fidgeting, Hyperactivity, Frequent Talking, Low tolerance to frustration, Interrupting, Decreased motivation, Mood swings, Restlessness, Intrusiveness, Impulsivity, and Avoidance of activities involving sustained focus. These are some not all of the signs and you may have some of these and it does not mean you have ADHD however if I can help someone reach even one person and share in this awareness I will sustain my goal. Please feel free to comment or ask me any questions. Thank you for taking the time to read about my life, and I hope this helps someone who is going through a similar situation!