Each day is a blessing and in the blink of a eye it can be gone! Yesterday leaving the surgical center where my husband was receiving injections for his back a lady ran a red light and totaled my car with us inside. We both walked out thankful to be alive. The woman had been given careless, reckless driving. With that said, We both woke up this morning happy to see the sun shining because had that woman hit us just a few inches more either way we both would have been killed or severely disabled. We both are shook up i can honestly say it puts things in perspective, this isn’t my first rodeo with facing death. However, Someone must have been watching over us, that is my husbands words! Myself, i must be like a cat i have nine lives. 🙂 Today i started to think more clearly, yesterday after the accident i was so incoherent the doctor did a lot of cardiac testing because i was depriving my heart and brain of oxygen, resulting in not functioning and understanding anything that was going on. Guess i was in shock. My husband is in a lot of pain today, when we where hit he was screaming in agony it was a horrible sound! If i can give one bit of advice to anyone out there it is, Hug your kids, hug your spouse, hug your parents, your significant other, hug a friend you don’t know if you will tomorrow!
One thing I have learned in life is that no one escapes battles in their life whether it is your health, either emotional or physical, financial, relationships or something that just happens. For some of us in life, we get a magnitude of issues and as I always say someone else has it far worse so I try to be thankful for what I am dealing with versus what I am not! My worst trait has been I am not a very optimistic person I am teaching myself how to change that. I do believe these traits are genetic as well as environmental and learned behavior when we are young. Let me say first and foremost I am not a psychologist, I do not have a degree in psychology. I did take a semester of psychology courses for medical assisting that gave me some insight on some conditions that deal with mental health, however, that’s insight some knowledge, not a degree. With that said, I can, however, speak as a mother who has been battling a condition hand in hand with my son who has been in this fight for the last eight years. This fight we are fighting is the green-eyed monster of ADHD. This condition can happen to anyone it has no preference it does not matter if your rich, poor, it is diverse and demanding here is our battle and one we still struggle with daily.
When my son was in the fourth grade I noticed him struggling daily in school and at home. I attributed this to the fact that I was going through a divorce with his father who I spent twenty years with. There was also the fact that we were moving to a new place and that the kids were as nervous as I was with starting over alone just them and me. While there was some excitement, to be honest we had many ideas and plans the kids and I, however, there was also stress and fear. Their dad and I had been together since we where young adults and part of me could not wait to see life through a different lens, however, we make choices and I thought my son’s hyperactivity was the result. After all these years I finally do not have to take the blame for what I thought was my fault or a result of my decision it was the green-eyed monster displaying it’s ugly head at the same time we were going through these changes. ADHD!
My son struggled daily. There were emotional outbursts that no one could control, not even him. No matter how hard he would try he would just scream and become so angry so difficult I can not describe the intense rollercoaster we were about to ride. There are many disorders that go hand in hand with ADHD, these are some and not limited to but they are ODD aka as oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar depression, depression, anxiety disorders, and learning disabilities. My son has a few of these as well. Daily for the last eight years, there has been uncontrollable outbursts that have nearly caused so much destruction in our all of our lives that I thought our lives where over. My son would go on a rant for hours, six hours to say the least breaking things, screaming, so out of control, there were times I needed assistance. This was as he got older and the years went on and he became a teen. It just got so bad the older he had gotten. At least when he was younger the screaming, the hitting, and the breaking things where smaller as he got bigger so did his behaviors. At first, when he was younger I did a form of therapy known as play therapy. I saw the therapist regularly with him thinking this was stress related I also sought help through his pediatrician. After trying to handle him, raise two other kids and hold a job as a single mother is was at that point they actually diagnosed him via a test that is called the Conners scale. This is an assessment test for ADHD which is given to the teacher and the parent as well as the physician to answer questions honestly on a scale about your child by analyzing your responses they can determine if your child does have ADHD. Needless to say my son not only had ADHD but the most severe form of ADHD. However, this was just the start of a long road ahead.
I did not believe in medication, immediately I was scared to put my son on stimulants. To someone that may sound counterintuitive, why give a stimulant to someone who is hyper? Well, it has the opposite effect if you do indeed have ADHD. The medication works by improving the way certain parts of the brain communicate with each other. To someone who does not have ADHD, well that medication is dangerous to say the least for cardiac reasons, addictions and others. You will realize that these medications do manage the condition however, it is not a cure. Needless to say, after countless years I learned this medication would save his life, the rest of the family, my second marriage, and any hope of a normal life for any of us. It took me years to realize this, and it took may psychologists, many programs year after year, and still present till this day he is still in therapy. Sometimes I get angry at myself for waiting so long to medicate. I learned that medication has its time and value, and after what we had been through we could have had some relief earlier. Keep in mind medication is not everything, he needs therapy to handle his behaviors and emotions, and I do therapy with him along with his stepfather and sister to manage the ups and downs of this condition and how it affects us all. We also are there to support him as he is my son, my heart, and my life. It is a road that he may be on forever. That we will all be on forever. it does not make or break you if you realize what steps you need to take and that you will have up’s and downs and if I can give one bit of advice seek help immediately ADHD is in no ones control you are at its mercy. We were!
In case you think you or someone you know may have this condition please seek help if you notice any of these signs go to your doctor, and adults are no exception. Some signs to look for: Forgetfulness, Disorganization, Fidgeting, Hyperactivity, Frequent Talking, Low tolerance to frustration, Interrupting, Decreased motivation, Mood swings, Restlessness, Intrusiveness, Impulsivity, and Avoidance of activities involving sustained focus. These are some not all of the signs and you may have some of these and it does not mean you have ADHD however if I can help someone reach even one person and share in this awareness I will sustain my goal. Please feel free to comment or ask me any questions. Thank you for taking the time to read about my life, and I hope this helps someone who is going through a similar situation!
I will posts pictures of my husband, my fish, the lunatic dog i told you about in my introduction and the ten year old poodle that basically just sleeps all day. Just a view into my world! I would love to post my beautiful kids however they asked me not to at this point. It is that whole OH MY GOSH mom REALLY. There view and take on this is but our friends will see us mom, and mom your too old to start a blog. Remember i am that young age of 46, however in there eyes i am a senior citizen. 🙂 I too remember in my teens and twenties thinking people in there 40’s where old now i am considered old. Life sure does pass you by , in the blink of eye your noticing just how much older your getting when your kids are having kids and your other kids are in high school. Well hope you enjoy a peek into my world!!
As long as there is glitter life will sparkle! Who does not love a little sparkle in there step! Glitter, sparkle, shine…BE YOURSELF!!!
My name is nichole my family and friends refer to me as princess :), nikki , and sparkles! 🌸 I wear glitter everything and nothing shines more then a beautiful array of sparkles..I love to shimmer and shine and light up the world!!💋 Now who wouldn’t want a little sparkle in there life 💖 I also have been called recently, Angel and The Italian princess as well as Jersey!!
Today i am at the young age of 47 okay so that’s middle age but 40 something in 2020 is young, hip, fulfilling, stressful and chaotic, but that,s okay everyday is a blessing! Life is beautiful although it comes with many obstacles, challenges, and immense struggles but mostly and importantly life is full of rewards. Myself i went back to school in my 30’s to earn a degree in the medical field. After countless hours of studying with a school age son and two toddlers I became a certified medical assistant and worked in dermatology for over 8 years. I assisted in surgical procedures and met some wonderful patients. I can honestly say it is amazing how your patients become such a part of you and your life, they touch and embrace you daily it is a very rewarding career. Loving and leaving this career was a very hard decision one which i had to make after a lot of thought, consideration, and circumstances that were out of my control. But more on that later. I have three beautiful children and two of the most precious grand babies! I’am the oldest of 5 siblings. Some of which make life so much better and are there if i need them and likewise. One brother and 3 sisters, many wonderful nieces and nephews, Godchildren, and so many and i mean MANY extending family as of a Italian descent, there are so many cousins and second cousins i could write a page on just that. God has blessed me. I also love the color pink, love pizza, fine red wine, sunflowers and my dad. In my spare time i enjoy writing poetry and blogging. Writing has become one of the strongest passions i have ever had!
My Oldest son is 23 he is not only successful but strong, intelligent, and a handsome man who also happens to be a wonderful father. This boy i raised has became this man. In the blink of a eye i went from changing diapers to him receiving his bachelors in a year and striving to become a investment banker. At this time he is raising two toddlers with the help of his pretty finance while going to school, interning, and working part time this is truly success at its finest. I am a proud mommy to say the least!
My second son is 17 going into his junior year. He is a wonderful, beautiful young man. He has had to work very hard to achieve his goals he has severe ADHD making things very challenging for not only him but the family. It has been a long hard road and one we are still riding. ADHD shows no mercy thus one of the reasons i left my career. More on that later as well. If i can say one thing with the heartbreak that ADHD can cause my son is much more then ADHD . He is charismatic and loving and his goal is to own his own business he has thrifty knowledge on buying, selling, trading, i forsee a luderative business in his future. And let it be known when he smiles and is happy it fulfills my heart.
Then there is my little pretty princess my only daughter. She is a angel with a teenage attitude( yay 16). Both intelligent and wise above her years she is going into her sophomore year with honors she works very hard to uphold a high GPA. My daughter is about success and academics and as many sports as she can play. Since she was 5 she has wanted to be a surgeon i can see that the path she is on is one of success and admiration.
My grand babies are 4 and 1 let me say they are the epitome of perfection! My life is full of joy since God blessed me with being a mom-mom.
We have a dog named harley and a hamster named nugget as well as 12 fish. Needless to say i’am not a big dog lover but i am however a big animal lover. I have my own little zoo 🙂
My goal for this blog is to talk about life, love, divorce, career challenges, kids with challenges, esp. but not limited to ADHD. Being 40 middle age but fun, flirty, fantastic, a working mother and just holding up in today’s balancing act juggling all of the above. There are also many more topics, life experiences some good and some that will definitely intrigue you. This is my first time sharing my life i hope to take you on this journey with me. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride.