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NARCISSISTIC PARTNER BEHAVIORS..BEWARE πŸ’–

I decided to write this today to actually free myself from the clutter in my mind. I also hope to help someone else! Even if I reach one person who might see this and take a step back and say this seems familiar maybe I can help by sharing my experience maybe help you to realize it’s not YOU! I know this because sometimes we know something is not right but ignore things when we date someone. If I had listened to my gut I may have spared myself a lot of heartache and trauma…walking on eggshells everyday is no way to live nor is not being yourself for the sake of someone else πŸ’” I have learned from my past please hear my words and if you relate run for your life even if your in love! If people you love say this isn’t you and your not you anymore and why are you always sad and stressed..heed this advice i am about to spill… Its a HARD choice, it is painful, it is not easy, BUT if you don’t, you won’t recognize yourself and one day you will look in the mirror and try to find the person you once where…you will cry and hate yourself until you make changes! Changing is hard, facing the truth harder never allow yourself to be mistreated and never live a lie! This goes for anyone out there, any gender, as narcissists are not one particular sex.

To my past I have learned from you! I do not hate you, I don’t hold ill feelings, even if you let people close to you believe it was me and I am to blame, thats okay, in my heart I know myself, the truth and God knows! My love was real and honest and i fought hard! Until I had to say goodbye to be the woman i once was! To be the beautiful nichole not only on the outside but where it mattered because I wasn’t me when I was with you! No one sees whats behind closed doors BUT GOD DOES πŸ™ and I can honestly say I look in the mirror and I gave my all! It doesn’t matter what others see its what GOD does!

Thank you to Robbie who listened to me cry every night and everyday hours upon hours and helped me fight to regain who I was who’s soft words and love gave me strength and courage and Rick you have always been there in good and bad and you stood by me every step of the way telling me keep looking ahead your love for me has always been there through all these years and April sis you always knew, you knew what I was up against and everytime i fell you said get up and you got this and don’t you give in and don’t you quit.. and daddy i have always been your little girl and you always love me and listen to every tear that falls wiping them away and always believing in me thank for you giving me the power to face this and go i love you daddy….all of you helped me through!πŸ’–β€ Thank you still to this day robbie and rick and April and now two of my dearest friends are back in my life as they where subjected to this madness because i wasn’t aloud to talk to them also a part of narcissistic people…take away the closest to you because there is strength in numbers… so praise God ray and Rob are back in my life they have known me since highschool and never stopped loving me and they are still helping me each day to be the girl they always knew and loved! I love you all soooo much back!!! Thank you for loving me πŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ€—

Hold onto your hats its a bumpy painful ride.. here is a list behaviors to watch for in your partner!! Learn from me!!

1.) Excessive admiration and πŸ‘applause..narcissists need constant attention. They must always feel number one! I mean even over your children or a sick parent if they are second they will be critical and cruel and will get hostile they must always be top priority at all times!

2.) Control..they always must have control and I mean IN EVERYTHING! They must constantly feel superior and they will constantly put you down they will make you lose your independence its about making you need them to the point you can’t leave..you will feel like they are giving you everything until they take what they give from you when your not following the rules they will make you feel small and not in control because speaking your mind will raise fire and fury and the wrath will last hours to days..you almost apologize to regain peace hating yourself for it and when you do this they will shower you with affection and gifts only to repeat the same patterns until you learn the pattern so well you know exactly what to expect and when!

3) Projecting responsibility and spreading lies..its always your fault no matter what,it won’t matter what it is..you distracted them, you didn’t listen, you did or said something they didn’t agree with .. your wrong your always wrong!! The lies about you they will tell, omg its endless … convincing everyone around them your a bad person and selfish and dishonest…they hide the evil brewing in there tactics and schemes and the ones close to them never will believe you because they are so convincing…Dr Jeckell Mr Hyde deal! It’s sinster and it hurts like hell! Wait until you leave you will be projected as the worst person in the world because they made everyone believe on the surface they treat you soo good and you have it made but your ungratefullness is Atrocious! As the narcissists display a evil empathy but only when its to there advantage!

4.) Gaslighting and stonewalling …oh holy hell this is horrible! They will convince you to second guess your sanity and that what you remember is just a fragment of your imagination. It doesn’t matter what they said or did they will never admit to it …you’ll stand there in your truth knowing what your saying is factual but when presented they can twist and turn anything into making you think your losing your sanity..and if you don’t agree with them they will bash and scream and break you down not answering calls or texts until your so desperate for peace you collapse and give in to restore normalcy..well what you believe in your scattered mind to be normal! The normal insanity of living a lie! The normal life in a relationship with a narricist!!

If anyone ever goes through what I have please remember it is NOT YOU! Also confide and reach out to others who love you! Seek outside counseling or your church, cry or scream or yell its okay, LET IT OUT! It will take time to see your life through a different lens lean on those who remember who you once where let them guide you home …pray and pray again and again for the strength to leave DO NOT LET FEAR CONTROL YOU! Let the heart break it will heal, your self worth is more then then the feelings for that person! Run for your life don’t look back until your strong enough to admit where you where was NOT YOUR FAULT you where Psychologically abused. Yes it is abuse…yes it will take years to heal the trauma and the damage is there BUT IT DOESN’T OWN YOU! Your beautiful, gifted and I promise your will is stronger then you think at your weakest moments you will find strength in the truth!! Be you and be proud!! Your worth it!! πŸ€—β€πŸ’–

SHE WILL NEVER BE…ME πŸ’‹ MERLOT KISSES AND PINK SATIN DREAMS πŸ’– WRITTEN BY NICHOLE SULPIZIO

The past i kiss goodbye while I spread my wings to fly to a beautiful future πŸ’™πŸ’œ

She will never have soft skin like me

Her lips will never taste of red wine

She will never possess the powers of my touch

Sensual women are always a must

Beautiful heart

And the words I speak

This she can never meet

The princess in her pink delight

Full of bubbles and dreams

Not misery and schemes

Pretty in bows and gloss

Your pride left you alone and lost

Ashamed

Stuck in despair

On your knees you pray she will one day compare

Sorry love it is safe to say

Not all women come this way

Dancing until the sun will rise

Glitter sparkling around my eyes

Stilettos and lace

Gentle

Pretty

Delicate face

Never can you replace

Me

The future bright as starlit night

Dancing on my hearts delight β™₯

The stallion rides in to show me love

Like heaven above

In all its glory

Merlot kisses and pink satin dreams

I still love these things

Thank you

I am so glad I left you!!!

Copyright (c) 2020 Nichole Sulpizio – All Rights Reserved

The Puzzles Of Life By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ’–πŸ’‹

Life is like a puzzle

All the pieces are jagged

Some pieces fit

Others take time to find

Some pieces get lost in the shuffle

When the puzzles complete

The story is told

Until then it unfolds slowly

A mystery remains

Patience is of utmost importance

Whether ten pieces or a hundred

The puzzles is not complete until each piece is in its proper place

The ending beautiful πŸ’–

Copyright (c) 2020 Nichole Sulpizio – All Rights Reserved

To The Monsters In My Past…Great Lessons Where Taught…Thank you! πŸ’–

It took many years to forgive the man who stalked me for 13 years via the computer and another whom claimed undying love but it was controlled and conditioned …tonight I say, I Forgive You! For you both have made me stronger then ever before..do me a favor look at yourself in the mirror at who you are and where you are …your life is empty..i am sorry..mine is full…full of love and love to give ❀ i pray for the monsters …may God forgive them! FOR WE ALL GET JUDGED IN THE END!! You had a piece of heaven but your sins made you ugly and empty ..i only wish you forgiveness and happiness 😊 maybe someday you will look at your reflection in a different light when u find peace…pray!

For any liars and narcissists stay clear …i only allow light and light will guide me!! For the past has opened my eyes tonight….i thank God for those in my life that TRULY LOVE ME!! β€πŸ’–

This Is The Song That Set Me Free! πŸ™ The Words I Choose To Live By πŸ’–

This song was played over and over last year after a car accident I was in that changed my world… day after day pushing me to make changes! Life is short and My biggest fear was lying on my death bed and dying with regret! I have always been strong willed but sometimes we get blinded by love and we push our dreams aside for the sake of someone else. I was brainwashed to believe that life for me would never work and that my dreams and goals where not within reach because I had committed to another life. Although deep inside I knew I could be both i let someone dictate my reality UNTIL I decided to say ENOUGH!

I lost my friends!! I became reliant on someone else and let them control my life…i felt lost there was fear…until I faced the impossible and the fear… and went through the hell to be the person Inside I always was ….this song was played everyday and my will and my security in myself pushed me to the brink to leap and put my faith In GOD and in myself and NOW here I am!!

I have my own place again… i work not only for myself but also part-time elsewhere…i got to see a friend for drinks someone i love dearly whom I missed sooooo much…i have another friend also whom I love more then anything whom I am supposed to see soon and another who reached out today..i missed me and i am back and to my friends again i am so sorry!! I am back and I will never leave again! I love you Ray M , Rob M and Tara and another friend waiting for me to reach out, Hope! I love you guys! Thanks for still loving me!! ❀

I am blogging and getting my poetry out there a dream I have always had…thank you to my blogger friends for your support and encouragement and love!! You also helped changed my world!! Love to all of you across the globe..thank you for loving me too!! And thank you to gray wolf 🐺 hours upon hours of support and love everyday listening to the tears.. love u 🌎 ❀

Silence Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ’‹ Based on the past…reminders never cease πŸ’–πŸ’œ

Dismal day

Grey cloud cast

In the early morning light

She rises to the sadness of the past

Tears fill her eyes

As she secretly wishes

The brilliant sun would shine

Replacing the clouds in there opacity

Murky morning dew

Makes her face the pain

Deep within

Hidden

The shadows of there images

Haunting

Erasing the gentleness of those whom hold her heart

Reminders drifting as sheer

Swift thoughts

They whisper in her ear

Focusing on casting out all her fears

But she drowns in the silence of her mind

Voices fade

She can not escape

Her heart half full

Half empty

Broken πŸ’”

Silence 🀫

Copyright (c) 2020 Nichole Sulpizio – All Rights Reserved

MY LIFE DOES NOT DEFINE ME! I DEFINE MY LIFE!! πŸ’‹πŸ’–

I own the past and I own the present and I determine my future ❀ no matter what is thrown my way…I GOT THIS!! I have fought many battles and overcome… the best is yet to happen!!

Much love to everyone across the world! Love who you are in this very moment let go of the past and be your best self! Your beautiful inside and out just the way God intended you to be!!

Have a blessed and beautiful day to all you beautiful bloggers out there 😘 ❀