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An Introduction to my fabulous and chaotic world!

My name is nichole my family and friends refer to me as princess :), nikki , and sparkles! 🌸 I wear glitter everything and nothing shines more then a beautiful array of sparkles..I love to shimmer and shine and light up the world!!πŸ’‹ Now who wouldn’t want a little sparkle in there life πŸ’– I also have been called recently, Angel and The Italian princess as well as Jersey!!

Today i am at the young age of 49 okay so that’s middle age but 40 something in 2020 is young, hip, fulfilling, stressful and chaotic, but that,s okay everyday is a blessing! My kids are grown and i am ready to have some fun!! Life is beautiful although it comes with many obstacles, challenges, and immense struggles but mostly and importantly life is full of rewards. Myself i went back to school in my 30’s to earn a degree in the medical field. After countless hours of studying with a school age son and two toddlers I became a certified medical assistant and worked in dermatology for over 8 years. I assisted in surgical procedures and met some wonderful patients. I can honestly say it is amazing how your patients become such a part of you and your life, they touch and embrace you daily it is a very rewarding career. Loving and leaving this career was a very hard decision one which i had to make after a lot of thought, consideration, and circumstances that were out of my control. But more on that later. I have three beautiful children and three of the most precious grand babies! I’am the oldest of 5 siblings. Some of which make life so much better and are there if i need them and likewise. One brother and 3 sisters, many wonderful nieces and nephews, Godchildren, and so many and i mean MANY extending family as of a Italian descent, there are so many cousins and second cousins i could write a page on just that. God has blessed me. I also love the color pink, love pizza, fine red wine, sunflowers and my dad. In my spare time i enjoy writing poetry and blogging. Writing has become one of the strongest passions i have ever had!

My Oldest son is 26 he is not only successful but strong, intelligent, and a handsome man who also happens to be a wonderful father. This boy i raised has became this man. In the blink of a eye i went from changing diapers to him receiving his bachelor’s to become a investment banker. Obtaining a job straight out of college with a huge firm..At this time he is raising a school age son along with a preschool daughter and a newborn with the help of his girlfriend Emily. My son is truly success at its finest. I am a proud mommy to say the least!

My second son is almost 20. He is a wonderful, beautiful young man. He has had to work very hard to achieve his goals he has severe ADHD making things very challenging for not only him but the family. It has been a long hard road and one we are still riding. ADHD shows no mercy thus one of the reasons i left my career. More on that later as well. If i can say one thing with the heartbreak that ADHD can cause my son is much more then ADHD . He is charismatic and loving and his goal is to own his own business he has thrifty knowledge on buying, selling, trading, i forsee a luderative business in his future. He is also a self taught guitar player and that just blows me away his talent is unbelievable. And let it be known when he smiles and is happy it fulfills my heart.

Then there is my little pretty princess my only daughter. She is a angel and 18 living in florida working in health and wellness as well as attending college to become both a nurse and possibly a physician. She is intelligent and wise above her years she went from sophomore year to senior passing over junior year with honors she works very hard to uphold a high GPA. My daughter is about success and academics and as many sports as she can play. Since she was 5 she has wanted to be a surgeon i can see that the path she is on is one of success and admiration.

My grand babies are 7 and almost 5 as well as the beautiful new addition little Wyatt ahh let me say they are the epitome of perfection! My life is full of joy since God blessed me with being a mom-mom.

We have a dog named harley old man that is closing in at 14. Needless to say i’am not a big dog lover but i am however a big animal lover.

My goal for this blog is to talk about life, love, divorce, career challenges, kids with challenges, esp. but not limited to ADHD. Being 40 middle age but fun, flirty, fantastic, a working mother and just holding up in today’s balancing act juggling all of the above. There are also many more topics, life experiences some good and some that will definitely intrigue you. This is my first time sharing my life i hope to take you on this journey with me. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

2023 Here I come! πŸ’‹πŸ”₯❀️

2023 is almost here and will be the year I start to do open 🎀 nights for my poetry, to retrieve feedback and speak the very words that proudly flow through my veins!

Looking back on my past I am so thrilled to be working my ass off building a business, MY OWN BUSINESS, and through the grind and hours I have already accomplished so much! I am also excited to get the opportunity to get out there and give myself a name, I don’t have to be huge to be proud, nor do I have to boast about my accomplishments, however the ones who tried to influence me and distract me to fail, have not succeeded!

A winner always wins its a mind set! And every dog has its day, some in the works as we speak πŸ™‚

The cyberstalker who has nothing better to do in life then be obsessed with mine, I don’t blame you as your life is empty and lame that you so dwell on mine and my loved ones with so much time and energy, my life is full and beautiful isnt it?? And the narcissist whom i scared so much with my talents, beauty and ambition, I scared you so much, your weakness has now been revealed! How very weak you are hiding behind a fake masculinity that belittling women is your Forte, such a shame and misfortune!

In the end I’d like to thank you both! I was always strong, now I am even stronger then I ever imagined πŸ’ͺ I am a fighter and a winner!

Red Velvet πŸ’‹πŸ”₯ Written By Nichole Sulpizio xo

She opens the door

Dark lounge

Slowly she walks

Through the crowd

The music plays

Jaz

Sensual sounds

Sax

Mimicking moans in her ears

As if people are climaxing

Sensuality fills the air

She sits down on a velvet cushioned couch

Tosses back her long, black lace gown

Glimpse of her smooth bare legs

Blueberry scent

As she tosses back her soft brown hair

Away from her delicate face

Cherry lips πŸ’‹

She lights a cigarette 🚬

Deeply she inhales

The bartender

Hands her a cocktail

Whiskey

Neat

She exhales

Gently she whispers

Thank you, Darling

She glimpses around the room

Curious

But stale

It’s him

Alone

Taking her in

Eyes lock

She prays he doesn’t speak

Tasty is he

Decant like a buttercream icing treat

Come here

She demands with her eyes

Walking toward her

Confident

Suit and tie

Sweat and musk

She longs to taste him

Kissing his lips

Touching his tongue

Buttons come undone

His and hers

Music still plays

There bodies sway

She craves him

He pays her tab

They walk hand in hand

To the yellow cab

With blinking lights

In the cold night

The plaza only one block away

In the exhaust filled city

New York

Lights and bay


Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

Feeling The Passion Like A Fire In My Soul πŸ”₯πŸ’‹

Never let a moment go by where you are afraid to speak, breathless and passionate moments ✨️ say what you need to say, feel how you need to feel and never be ashamed of the fire inside!

I don’t believe that everyone is passionate I believe you either are or your not! But, I believe that writers and musicians and artists have a special fire inside and it comes out in there creativity!

My body and soul is exploding with mixed emotions and I am letting them be revealed to the world and myself as I watch my life through the hard times and the good times Excell!

Live and Love with all that you are! ❀️ And don’t be afraid to say what you need too! Nor be afraid to be who you where meant to be…a STAR 🌟 Go to my site the song will play there! Enjoy πŸ˜‰

Coffee, Stained Glass And A Writers Thoughts xo πŸ’‹ Written By Nichole Sulpizio

Thinking about life, love, family!
Praying in this shity time we are in, I stay humble, kind and forgiving πŸ™
Believing there is a difference in making a mistake, be granted forgiveness verses not practicing what you preach and keeping things in a premeditated state!
Not taking time for granted and engulfing myself with loved ones because no day is certain!
It’s not who or what you portray to the world its who you are when noone is watching, all about the soul baby! Remember God is listening, he hears the whispers and conversations!
Not hesitating on saying what you need too meaning go with gusto in all areas of your life as you can’t say it when your gone!
As I go about my day I have to focus on not getting stuck in the mud but living for the magic I am trying to create even if it takes awhile to get there because mundane is just not how I was created to live!
Just a coffee and a writers words looking out a stained glass window this morning πŸŒ„ while I work!


Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

Happy Thursday πŸ’‹

First I’d like to thank, “The war at home and Narc Wise” for these on point and factual truths about life and living with a narcissist! See pics below ❀️

Unfortunately, for me, I’ve had the unpleasurable experience of living with a narcissist! I was able to control my sanity while living in survival mode! This is not typical for most and although hard you question everything and anything, therfore, nothing seems real! Anyone who knows what narcissistic abuse feels like will tell you it’s a constant war between reality and survival mode and remembering what’s right or wrong and staying in touch with yourself while being abused! All I can say was it was a fight for my life, and while working and raising kids I had to maintain my focus and not lose myself in the crazy and it was crazy, painfully such! More on that later!

For now, looking back, I was glad that my strong will for life and for my dreams helped keep me going and if I can offer advice to anyone suffering any abuse, whether physical and or emotional or mental find someone to confide in and let them help you to safety as you won’t really see the repercussions of what abuse does to your brain until you leave! There will be some PTSD and for me it’s been an ongoing feeling of indecisiveness even down to what I eat each day something so minuscule is so heavy for someone who’s reality was tested daily!

Don’t, let anyone tell you how to live your life you have to live your life on your own terms! Its imperative in this short life but you also have to get rid of the naysayers, the haters, you have to get rid of those in your life that thrive on drama and those that try to control your life such as the narcissist! The narcissist used to tell me all the time when I would express how I wanted to live my life, what I saw for my life, and the dreams that I had for my life, he use to state and i quote, “I would never make it without him”! Well, he is eating his words now! Since leaving him, I have opened my own business, I have doubled my income in less than a year I live in peace and tranquility I have returned to what normal is in a relationship and in life in general! And as my buisness grows it will be lucrative! I have healthy, happy kids and a family that lives in peace and unison all together! So when he quoted I WOULDN’T MAKE IT WITHOUT HIM it was actually the opposite, I WOULDN’T MAKE IT WITH HIM!!

Happy Thursday Everyone! Live, Love and Never have regrets! πŸ’‹

Happy Monday Bloggers β€οΈ

Sharing more quotes from a very on point site based in the miserable world of narcissistic relationships! Thank you Narc Wise!! 🌎

Sometimes when I view them I get that reminding twinge of nausea reliving the feeling of a unhappy, ill normal home and toxic relationship.

But, I feel as sicken as that past was for me I have also gained knowledge and strength of what I learned, whom I have become, and how powerful I am! And in turn want to continue focusing on the healing and life i have before me! And in turn helping others stuck in that suffocating feeling of regret and fear that life will slip away and they will face there death bed with a heart full of pain and regret πŸ’” 😒

Slowly I will bring into focus not only my passionate poems ✨️ but my thirst for helping others in similar situations get out safely and gain the strength to do so!

I am not certified in counseling and or am suggesting that in any way shape or form that I am. I am solely basing this on years of my life wasted with a narcissistic man who treated me one minute like I was the most valued diamond ( a trophy wife) whom he could buy and at the same time would devalue me and discredit me in order to keep possession of me! See this is a prime example of a narcissist, looking for approval and recognition from the same person you want to discredit and devalue because they lack self esteem and use manipulation as control! Doing this to me was one thing flipping the switch and adding my kids into this qrotesge endveor is another! Two out of 3 of my kids saw into this fake Jekyll and Hyde situation and one feels as I see it pity, as so to speak. He feels sorry for him in some ways as he feels he lost a whole family (as if treating a family abusively gives you any form of right) This kind hearted child of mine witnessed and experienced the abuse as well, but, shortly as he moved out early! By the way point in case was also at the hands of this narcissistic man and cost me a pretty penny to set my son up when he felt he couldn’t come home and was told not to even come home for Christmas which i will embark on later as well as the mere thought of this past makes me want to vomit aggressively! Narcissist are good at playing the victim in every situation which I will embark on later too. Let me point out this is NOT there father as we had no kids together and these are NOT his grandchildren whom he keeps himself attached, he was someone in my life for several years whom never earned these rights biologically or otherwise and really needs to move on and create his own family not hitched still with mine. There REAL father and I have a bond even though we are divorced we created a beautiful family and we still till this day share in that and always will! The narcissist needs to tuck his tail between his legs stop feeling sorry for himself and move on and leave my family alone!

I am not sure if I will start another blog on this topic or purely add this in to this one along with poetry. But, whatever I do I hope to help someone out there realize life is too short and noone can control your life, and if you feel like you have to constantly record things to prove your not crazy, or your family tells you that your not the same since being with someone, if your in denial when friends and or family tell you that your being controlled or manipulated and you calmly lie to save yourself from embrassment, and or you have lost your self, job, possessions and have changed solely for this person and constantly are walking on eggshells then you just may be dealing with narcissistic abuse!

It’s a dark world, it’s a narcissistic world, and IT IS ABUSE!

As a certified medical assistant I know what it does, psychologically and physically to the mind and body as I am slowly recovering 2 years later.

I hope to help others out there and maybe save someone! This life is too short to waste and i wasted too much time, time i can not get back however my future is bright, calm and full of possibilities now since leaving behind the demonic human i gave years tooπŸ™

Bastards Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ”₯

Something different coming from me today as I purged out the demonic human beings I have known in the past with minds so twisted and hearts cold and dead, the words flowed like a river from my mouth to this page like I saw each one and cursed there demonic existence! In a lifetime I have known 3 not one more worse then the other but all psychopathic on some level. Hold onto your seat and enjoy πŸ˜‰

There names a curse

Hex

She witnesses them as they are casted into the inferno πŸ”₯

Praying they be painfully scorched

There agony like music to her ears

The years wasted on the unworthy

Pyscopaths

Her once crippling sympathy

To pity them and engage in time with them

Left behind taunting images

Of diseased ridden

So cold beings

She takes a deep breath

And purges the bastards once known to her

There blackened souls

Praying for redemption

Smelling of burnt flesh

Decaying in a unmarked grave

From years of hearts so frigid and minds so twisted

Grotesque are they

Purgatory would not suffice

She must be blinded for a moment

Eyes burn

Happily as she witnesses

A glimpse of there demise

While they dance with lucifer himself

Never to be forgiven

Sentenced to hell and death

She rubs her eyes

Blinks

Looks at them and grins

You poor bastards

She bites her lip

Chuckles just a bit

Karma πŸ’‹


Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

From Narc Wise ❀️ little truthful quotes I’d like to share after years of me living this hell! πŸ’‹

Everyone on here has witnessed and watched me evolve and grow from the narc relationship I was in and left 2 years ago! Life went from torment and crazy and toxic to beautiful and successful and happy and calm!

I have a successfully running buissness and I have kids that are happier in their home, living peacefully and without any issues! Home is finally a peaceful tranquil, NORMAL environment!

My future plan is to embark on narcissism fully and to possibly speak on it as I’d like to help those out there suffering the same toxic demise I was! Statistics show most will never escape! I am a strong willed individual who maintained my strength and clarity during the abuse! It’s not easy to leave but when you have confidence and love yourself you will leave anyone whom does not treat you with respect and kindness! My goal is to educate and help someone else who is going through abuse!

Happy Friday Bloggers ❀️

Solitary Rose 🌹 Written By Nichole Sulpizio

As she sits amoung the murky lake

Full of algae

Stillness

Aquatic

Suffocation of the summer sun

Yet cheerfully comforting

Light breeze amoung the trees

Full of life

Reminiscent

Each broad branch representing a new step

She is lost in the beauty

And haunted by the many paths she took to get here

The branches that broke beneath her during the storm

Fell with such force and demise

Not her

The wilted leaves that left such disdain in her mouth

Like a toxic dump

Smelling of rotten carcus and debris

The death of the past

Awaken to a new light

Like a solitary flower

Basken in the yellow hues

Fruitful and vivid

Swaying with the slightest breeze

Glorified

Capturing this moment

As it awaits the death of winters doom

Only to rise and shine again in springs dew

Like she

A solitary rose!!

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

Sangria πŸ’‹ Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ”₯

Sangria

Taupe sand

Pale cream hint

In its golden glow

Steady waves crash against the rocks

Boldly

Her caramel hair blowing lightly

In the warm summer breeze

Coconut curls

Down her tanned back

Bronzed glow

As the sun sets in its dignity

The sand tickles her toes

Painted plum

Like the color of her wine

Dripping from her lips

Sweet berry breath

Inviting

She giggles

Licking her lips

As not to stain her gloss

Shining like the brightest star

In a night sky

Twinkling

Her eyes sparkle

Like the name she was given

Dreaming of his lips

Kiss

His hands slowly gazing her body

To her hips

In her summer dress

Above the knees

Floral

Tease

Of the diamond underneath

Drawing her body closer

Her curves

Mystic

He pulls her in

She feels his need

In his embrace

Firmly

Blushing

Escaping in her thoughts

As she melts away

In her sangria

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved