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An Introduction to my fabulous and chaotic world!

My name is nichole my family and friends refer to me as princess :), nikki , and sparkles! 🌸 I wear glitter everything and nothing shines more then a beautiful array of sparkles..I love to shimmer and shine and light up the world!!πŸ’‹ Now who wouldn’t want a little sparkle in there life πŸ’– I also have been called recently, Angel and The Italian princess as well as Jersey!!

Today i am at the young age of 49 okay so that’s middle age but 40 something in 2020 is young, hip, fulfilling, stressful and chaotic, but that,s okay everyday is a blessing! My kids are grown and i am ready to have some fun!! Life is beautiful although it comes with many obstacles, challenges, and immense struggles but mostly and importantly life is full of rewards. Myself i went back to school in my 30’s to earn a degree in the medical field. After countless hours of studying with a school age son and two toddlers I became a certified medical assistant and worked in dermatology for over 8 years. I assisted in surgical procedures and met some wonderful patients. I can honestly say it is amazing how your patients become such a part of you and your life, they touch and embrace you daily it is a very rewarding career. Loving and leaving this career was a very hard decision one which i had to make after a lot of thought, consideration, and circumstances that were out of my control. But more on that later. I have three beautiful children and three of the most precious grand babies! I’am the oldest of 5 siblings. Some of which make life so much better and are there if i need them and likewise. One brother and 3 sisters, many wonderful nieces and nephews, Godchildren, and so many and i mean MANY extending family as of a Italian descent, there are so many cousins and second cousins i could write a page on just that. God has blessed me. I also love the color pink, love pizza, fine red wine, sunflowers and my dad. In my spare time i enjoy writing poetry and blogging. Writing has become one of the strongest passions i have ever had!

My Oldest son is 26 he is not only successful but strong, intelligent, and a handsome man who also happens to be a wonderful father. This boy i raised has became this man. In the blink of a eye i went from changing diapers to him receiving his bachelor’s to become a investment banker. Obtaining a job straight out of college with a huge firm..At this time he is raising a school age son along with a preschool daughter and a newborn with the help of his girlfriend Emily. My son is truly success at its finest. I am a proud mommy to say the least!

My second son is almost 20. He is a wonderful, beautiful young man. He has had to work very hard to achieve his goals he has severe ADHD making things very challenging for not only him but the family. It has been a long hard road and one we are still riding. ADHD shows no mercy thus one of the reasons i left my career. More on that later as well. If i can say one thing with the heartbreak that ADHD can cause my son is much more then ADHD . He is charismatic and loving and his goal is to own his own business he has thrifty knowledge on buying, selling, trading, i forsee a luderative business in his future. He is also a self taught guitar player and that just blows me away his talent is unbelievable. And let it be known when he smiles and is happy it fulfills my heart.

Then there is my little pretty princess my only daughter. She is a angel and 18 living in florida working in health and wellness as well as attending college to become both a nurse and possibly a physician. She is intelligent and wise above her years she went from sophomore year to senior passing over junior year with honors she works very hard to uphold a high GPA. My daughter is about success and academics and as many sports as she can play. Since she was 5 she has wanted to be a surgeon i can see that the path she is on is one of success and admiration.

My grand babies are 7 and almost 5 as well as the beautiful new addition little Wyatt ahh let me say they are the epitome of perfection! My life is full of joy since God blessed me with being a mom-mom.

We have a dog named harley old man that is closing in at 14. Needless to say i’am not a big dog lover but i am however a big animal lover.

My goal for this blog is to talk about life, love, divorce, career challenges, kids with challenges, esp. but not limited to ADHD. Being 40 middle age but fun, flirty, fantastic, a working mother and just holding up in today’s balancing act juggling all of the above. There are also many more topics, life experiences some good and some that will definitely intrigue you. This is my first time sharing my life i hope to take you on this journey with me. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

Happy Thursday πŸ’‹

First I’d like to thank, “The war at home and Narc Wise” for these on point and factual truths about life and living with a narcissist! See pics below ❀️

Unfortunately, for me, I’ve had the unpleasurable experience of living with a narcissist! I was able to control my sanity while living in survival mode! This is not typical for most and although hard you question everything and anything, therfore, nothing seems real! Anyone who knows what narcissistic abuse feels like will tell you it’s a constant war between reality and survival mode and remembering what’s right or wrong and staying in touch with yourself while being abused! All I can say was it was a fight for my life, and while working and raising kids I had to maintain my focus and not lose myself in the crazy and it was crazy, painfully such! More on that later!

For now, looking back, I was glad that my strong will for life and for my dreams helped keep me going and if I can offer advice to anyone suffering any abuse, whether physical and or emotional or mental find someone to confide in and let them help you to safety as you won’t really see the repercussions of what abuse does to your brain until you leave! There will be some PTSD and for me it’s been an ongoing feeling of indecisiveness even down to what I eat each day something so minuscule is so heavy for someone who’s reality was tested daily!

Don’t, let anyone tell you how to live your life you have to live your life on your own terms! Its imperative in this short life but you also have to get rid of the naysayers, the haters, you have to get rid of those in your life that thrive on drama and those that try to control your life such as the narcissist! The narcissist used to tell me all the time when I would express how I wanted to live my life, what I saw for my life, and the dreams that I had for my life, he use to state and i quote, “I would never make it without him”! Well, he is eating his words now! Since leaving him, I have opened my own business, I have doubled my income in less than a year I live in peace and tranquility I have returned to what normal is in a relationship and in life in general! And as my buisness grows it will be lucrative! I have healthy, happy kids and a family that lives in peace and unison all together! So when he quoted I WOULDN’T MAKE IT WITHOUT HIM it was actually the opposite, I WOULDN’T MAKE IT WITH HIM!!

Happy Thursday Everyone! Live, Love and Never have regrets! πŸ’‹

Happy Monday Bloggers β€οΈ

Sharing more quotes from a very on point site based in the miserable world of narcissistic relationships! Thank you Narc Wise!! 🌎

Sometimes when I view them I get that reminding twinge of nausea reliving the feeling of a unhappy, ill normal home and toxic relationship.

But, I feel as sicken as that past was for me I have also gained knowledge and strength of what I learned, whom I have become, and how powerful I am! And in turn want to continue focusing on the healing and life i have before me! And in turn helping others stuck in that suffocating feeling of regret and fear that life will slip away and they will face there death bed with a heart full of pain and regret πŸ’” 😒

Slowly I will bring into focus not only my passionate poems ✨️ but my thirst for helping others in similar situations get out safely and gain the strength to do so!

I am not certified in counseling and or am suggesting that in any way shape or form that I am. I am solely basing this on years of my life wasted with a narcissistic man who treated me one minute like I was the most valued diamond ( a trophy wife) whom he could buy and at the same time would devalue me and discredit me in order to keep possession of me! See this is a prime example of a narcissist, looking for approval and recognition from the same person you want to discredit and devalue because they lack self esteem and use manipulation as control! Doing this to me was one thing flipping the switch and adding my kids into this qrotesge endveor is another! Two out of 3 of my kids saw into this fake Jekyll and Hyde situation and one feels as I see it pity, as so to speak. He feels sorry for him in some ways as he feels he lost a whole family (as if treating a family abusively gives you any form of right) This kind hearted child of mine witnessed and experienced the abuse as well, but, shortly as he moved out early! By the way point in case was also at the hands of this narcissistic man and cost me a pretty penny to set my son up when he felt he couldn’t come home and was told not to even come home for Christmas which i will embark on later as well as the mere thought of this past makes me want to vomit aggressively! Narcissist are good at playing the victim in every situation which I will embark on later too. Let me point out this is NOT there father as we had no kids together and these are NOT his grandchildren whom he keeps himself attached, he was someone in my life for several years whom never earned these rights biologically or otherwise and really needs to move on and create his own family not hitched still with mine. There REAL father and I have a bond even though we are divorced we created a beautiful family and we still till this day share in that and always will! The narcissist needs to tuck his tail between his legs stop feeling sorry for himself and move on and leave my family alone!

I am not sure if I will start another blog on this topic or purely add this in to this one along with poetry. But, whatever I do I hope to help someone out there realize life is too short and noone can control your life, and if you feel like you have to constantly record things to prove your not crazy, or your family tells you that your not the same since being with someone, if your in denial when friends and or family tell you that your being controlled or manipulated and you calmly lie to save yourself from embrassment, and or you have lost your self, job, possessions and have changed solely for this person and constantly are walking on eggshells then you just may be dealing with narcissistic abuse!

It’s a dark world, it’s a narcissistic world, and IT IS ABUSE!

As a certified medical assistant I know what it does, psychologically and physically to the mind and body as I am slowly recovering 2 years later.

I hope to help others out there and maybe save someone! This life is too short to waste and i wasted too much time, time i can not get back however my future is bright, calm and full of possibilities now since leaving behind the demonic human i gave years tooπŸ™

Bastards Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ”₯

Something different coming from me today as I purged out the demonic human beings I have known in the past with minds so twisted and hearts cold and dead, the words flowed like a river from my mouth to this page like I saw each one and cursed there demonic existence! In a lifetime I have known 3 not one more worse then the other but all psychopathic on some level. Hold onto your seat and enjoy πŸ˜‰

There names a curse

Hex

She witnesses them as they are casted into the inferno πŸ”₯

Praying they be painfully scorched

There agony like music to her ears

The years wasted on the unworthy

Pyscopaths

Her once crippling sympathy

To pity them and engage in time with them

Left behind taunting images

Of diseased ridden

So cold beings

She takes a deep breath

And purges the bastards once known to her

There blackened souls

Praying for redemption

Smelling of burnt flesh

Decaying in a unmarked grave

From years of hearts so frigid and minds so twisted

Grotesque are they

Purgatory would not suffice

She must be blinded for a moment

Eyes burn

Happily as she witnesses

A glimpse of there demise

While they dance with lucifer himself

Never to be forgiven

Sentenced to hell and death

She rubs her eyes

Blinks

Looks at them and grins

You poor bastards

She bites her lip

Chuckles just a bit

Karma πŸ’‹


Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

From Narc Wise ❀️ little truthful quotes I’d like to share after years of me living this hell! πŸ’‹

Everyone on here has witnessed and watched me evolve and grow from the narc relationship I was in and left 2 years ago! Life went from torment and crazy and toxic to beautiful and successful and happy and calm!

I have a successfully running buissness and I have kids that are happier in their home, living peacefully and without any issues! Home is finally a peaceful tranquil, NORMAL environment!

My future plan is to embark on narcissism fully and to possibly speak on it as I’d like to help those out there suffering the same toxic demise I was! Statistics show most will never escape! I am a strong willed individual who maintained my strength and clarity during the abuse! It’s not easy to leave but when you have confidence and love yourself you will leave anyone whom does not treat you with respect and kindness! My goal is to educate and help someone else who is going through abuse!

Happy Friday Bloggers ❀️

Solitary Rose 🌹 Written By Nichole Sulpizio

As she sits amoung the murky lake

Full of algae

Stillness

Aquatic

Suffocation of the summer sun

Yet cheerfully comforting

Light breeze amoung the trees

Full of life

Reminiscent

Each broad branch representing a new step

She is lost in the beauty

And haunted by the many paths she took to get here

The branches that broke beneath her during the storm

Fell with such force and demise

Not her

The wilted leaves that left such disdain in her mouth

Like a toxic dump

Smelling of rotten carcus and debris

The death of the past

Awaken to a new light

Like a solitary flower

Basken in the yellow hues

Fruitful and vivid

Swaying with the slightest breeze

Glorified

Capturing this moment

As it awaits the death of winters doom

Only to rise and shine again in springs dew

Like she

A solitary rose!!

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

Sangria πŸ’‹ Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ”₯

Sangria

Taupe sand

Pale cream hint

In its golden glow

Steady waves crash against the rocks

Boldly

Her caramel hair blowing lightly

In the warm summer breeze

Coconut curls

Down her tanned back

Bronzed glow

As the sun sets in its dignity

The sand tickles her toes

Painted plum

Like the color of her wine

Dripping from her lips

Sweet berry breath

Inviting

She giggles

Licking her lips

As not to stain her gloss

Shining like the brightest star

In a night sky

Twinkling

Her eyes sparkle

Like the name she was given

Dreaming of his lips

Kiss

His hands slowly gazing her body

To her hips

In her summer dress

Above the knees

Floral

Tease

Of the diamond underneath

Drawing her body closer

Her curves

Mystic

He pulls her in

She feels his need

In his embrace

Firmly

Blushing

Escaping in her thoughts

As she melts away

In her sangria

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

Happy Wed World 🌎 β€πŸ’‹

Hope this motivates you the way it does me each and every morning πŸŒ„ to achieve my goals!

To the narcissist!

You said I couldn’t do it, you said, I’d never make it! I am relentless. I am driven, and I am coming after everything you said I couldn’t have!

Let me tell you this, I have everything I need! My success is my insanity and it keeps me up at night pushing, pushing πŸ’ͺ me to the top!

I have a harmonious home, a great start to a successful career, my own business, successful, thriving, happy children! A loving, gentle, passionate man who showed me unconditional love! I have everything you said I would never have! I not only beat you, I WON! I HAVE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE THAT I NEED!

Thank you for being a screw up! I hope someday you change your ways, i don’t wish harm i already got even! See, i was a fighter, that fighter mentality was something in me that scared the shit out of you! Thats why you tried to control me, and when you realized you couldn’t, it made you more angry and that anger motivated me to get so angry i left you right where you belonged in your misery and desperation! Life is too short to be miserable, and no one should ever give up anything in their life for someone else’s dreams or love! How far I have come!

Maybe this speal will touch and / or push someone else to do what they need to do! And someday I will speak to the world as a motivational speaker and I will help those who are like me! See probably something else you didn’t know about me, another dream of mine! Ha, but what did you know about me anyway 😏 πŸ˜…

Affair Of The Heart ❀️ (D)

Written By Nichole Sulpizio πŸ’‹

She dreams of romance

Passionate kisses

His hand

Candlelight dinner plans

He strokes her hair

So soft and long

While singing and dancing

To their favorite slow song

Moonlight beaches

Soft sand

Pale cream

Walks in the park

City after dark

Sipping white wine

Lobster tails

Chocolate mouse

Buttery and sweet

Both a decant treat

Aphrodisiac

Gazing at her

He invites her to stay

Every night

To live this way

For the rest of her life!

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

The Darkness πŸ’‹ Written By Nichole Sulpizio β€

The darkness came over her

In the brisk winter night

Haunting

Taunting her

Blinding her with agony

She is gasping for breath

Strangled

Suffocating

Shivering

Temperature sub zero

Icicles dangling from the branches

Shining slivers of glass

That could pierce through the skin

Like daggers

Visions of dripping blood

Frozen to stone

Invading her

Like a demon possessed

Fingertips blue

Delivering no oxygen

Bitter anguish

Hypothermia

Her last screams

Howling

Blood chilling

Watching her wounds

Empty like buckets of water

Onto the frozen ground below

Leaving her lifeless

In the darkness

πŸ’œπŸ’‹β€

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio
All Rights Reserved

God’s Seal Of Approval ❀Written By Nichole Sulpizio

Heart displaced

Years lost in mourning

Agnoy she endured

Bruised

Bludgeoned

By liars and thieves

Disguised they wore capes

To hide there evil souls

Villains

Are they

Twisted, sicken minds

Grotesque

Vomit upon there names

For their disease, not worthy of forgiveness

Trying to break her

Jealous of her light

Piece by piece, they tried

While tears fell upon her cheeks

Burning her skin

Raw

Not knowing her power

And will

She would destroy even the strongest of they

Her spirt a sword

Gleaming

That could pierce

The heaviest of bricks

Striking

The blood trickles from there names

Cast into the fire

Singeing their memory

She basks in the light

While there screams echoing

Like music to her ears

The beauty of her new found life

Love

Like the taste of his first kiss

Sent from heaven above

He was

A superhero with a shell

That was found

And engraved with his fate

And hers

Sealed with God’s approval

Copyright Β© 2022 Nichole Sulpizio All Rights Reserved