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An Introduction to my fabulous and chaotic world!

My name is nichole my family and friends refer to me as princess :), nikki , and sparkles! 🌸 I wear glitter everything and nothing shines more then a beautiful array of sparkles..I love to shimmer and shine and light up the world!!πŸ’‹ Now who wouldn’t want a little sparkle in there life πŸ’– I also have been called recently, Angel and The Italian princess as well as Jersey!!

Today i am at the young age of 47 okay so that’s middle age but 40 something in 2020 is young, hip, fulfilling, stressful and chaotic, but that,s okay everyday is a blessing! Life is beautiful although it comes with many obstacles, challenges, and immense struggles but mostly and importantly life is full of rewards. Myself i went back to school in my 30’s to earn a degree in the medical field. After countless hours of studying with a school age son and two toddlers I became a certified medical assistant and worked in dermatology for over 8 years. I assisted in surgical procedures and met some wonderful patients. I can honestly say it is amazing how your patients become such a part of you and your life, they touch and embrace you daily it is a very rewarding career. Loving and leaving this career was a very hard decision one which i had to make after a lot of thought, consideration, and circumstances that were out of my control. But more on that later. I have three beautiful children and two of the most precious grand babies! I’am the oldest of 5 siblings. Some of which make life so much better and are there if i need them and likewise. One brother and 3 sisters, many wonderful nieces and nephews, Godchildren, and so many and i mean MANY extending family as of a Italian descent, there are so many cousins and second cousins i could write a page on just that. God has blessed me. I also love the color pink, love pizza, fine red wine, sunflowers and my dad. In my spare time i enjoy writing poetry and blogging. Writing has become one of the strongest passions i have ever had!

My Oldest son is 23 he is not only successful but strong, intelligent, and a handsome man who also happens to be a wonderful father. This boy i raised has became this man. In the blink of a eye i went from changing diapers to him receiving his bachelors in a year and striving to become a investment banker. At this time he is raising two toddlers with the help of his pretty finance while going to school, interning, and working part time this is truly success at its finest. I am a proud mommy to say the least!

My second son is 17 going into his junior year. He is a wonderful, beautiful young man. He has had to work very hard to achieve his goals he has severe ADHD making things very challenging for not only him but the family. It has been a long hard road and one we are still riding. ADHD shows no mercy thus one of the reasons i left my career. More on that later as well. If i can say one thing with the heartbreak that ADHD can cause my son is much more then ADHD . He is charismatic and loving and his goal is to own his own business he has thrifty knowledge on buying, selling, trading, i forsee a luderative business in his future. And let it be known when he smiles and is happy it fulfills my heart.

Then there is my little pretty princess my only daughter. She is a angel with a teenage attitude( yay 16). Both intelligent and wise above her years she is going into her sophomore year with honors she works very hard to uphold a high GPA. My daughter is about success and academics and as many sports as she can play. Since she was 5 she has wanted to be a surgeon i can see that the path she is on is one of success and admiration.

My grand babies are 4 and 1 let me say they are the epitome of perfection! My life is full of joy since God blessed me with being a mom-mom.

We have a dog named harley and a hamster named nugget as well as 12 fish. Needless to say i’am not a big dog lover but i am however a big animal lover. I have my own little zoo πŸ™‚

My goal for this blog is to talk about life, love, divorce, career challenges, kids with challenges, esp. but not limited to ADHD. Being 40 middle age but fun, flirty, fantastic, a working mother and just holding up in today’s balancing act juggling all of the above. There are also many more topics, life experiences some good and some that will definitely intrigue you. This is my first time sharing my life i hope to take you on this journey with me. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

My Life May Not Be Easy BUT IT IS MINE πŸ’‹πŸ’‹ Someone a while ago told me this was my song 🀭 He is a very good friend who has known me forever

Hope all you bloggers out there have a wonderful safe day or night πŸŒ™ ❀

Life may not be easy for any of us out in this world but at least we are alive! And in the blogging world we’ll we got each other!! Hugs and love πŸ’˜

TRUTH WILL ALWAYS CONQUER πŸ’‹

Just a few thoughts on this fall πŸŒ™ night!

1.) Stated above truth WILL always conquer and justice prevail!

2.) Spiting someone ONLY spites you harder in the end!

3.) Sitting behind something that makes you feel superior only TARNISHES your name and reputation!

4.) Admitting mistakes makes you stand TALLER!

5.) You can lie to everyone, you can lie to the world BUT you can’t lie to yourself or GOD!

6.) Dishonesty and paybacks make you UGLY!

7.) God ALWAYS knows your heart and intentions! You can’t hide a evil mind or heart!

8.) With all said above it is MUCH easier to say, I LOVE YOU OR I AM SORRY! It shows character and bravery!

9.) Treat people with respect and love and admiration, if you don’t they WILL find someone who will!

10.) Look in the mirror be beautiful INSIDE even when it is not easy! You will sleep better and be a better person! Animosity and revenge and lie only hurt you in the end! Be beautiful and be honest …dignity is EVERYTHING β€πŸ’–πŸ˜˜

TODAY IS A SAD DAY IN AMERICA πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ GOD BLESS THE USA AND GOD BLESS ALL THE BEAUTIFUL COUNTRIES ACROSS THE WORLD!

Today is September 11th a day in American history that will never be forgotten and a day that I will never forget! Each September 11th I have tears in my eyes for all the people whom lost there lives that day! The world trade center was not only Americans but people from all over the world! People from every country died tragically that day and it should never have happened!

I live dead smack in the middle of where it took place all around me it was happening it was very sad and horrific day and I had no idea if my family or I could or would be next ..in fact noone knew that day anywhere in the world if they would be next! I live very close to the world trade center and Pennsylvania and the white house..it was very scary and I remember today how I felt the day America changed!

This video shows the events as they unfold and today I pray for peace and unity across all nations! See, i love America it is home but I also love this world and EVERY beautiful country out there! πŸ’œπŸ’– To all my WordPress family out there lets pray for peace! And just know we are truly all ONE no matter where we live we all our ONE!!! God bless all of you and I love you! πŸ’–πŸ’œπŸ˜˜

Indestructible πŸ’ͺπŸ’‹ Written By Nichole Sulpizio

Racing thoughts

Whirlwind of emotions

Searing pain

However not ashamed

Of her past mistakes

Heart breaks

Pierced with a sword

Steel blade

Serrated

Tears flow down

Upon her delicate face

Like a inferno

Scorching

Escaping there hell

Fire rages in her veins πŸ”₯

To the villains

Who stole time from her

In there audacity

And insecurities

She unbeknownst to them

Indestructible

But scarred

Having to save herself

From there demise

Of evil demons

With no soul

Whom stole her innocence

Learning to live again

She dances in the rain

As it falls

Cleansing the sins

Of them from her

The sun peaking through

Replacing gloom

With illumination of light

Heart rejoices in the basking glow

Without a doubt she is not broken πŸ’–

PRETTY PRINCESS TIME AND ME TIME πŸ’‹πŸ‘„ GLITZY

Working 6 days a week and raising two teens and well being a single working mommy and a taxi cab a therapist, a chef, its time for a brief but much needed ME TIME! Spoil myself πŸ’– Us single parents, YES ( you fabulous men out there too ) we do it all for everyone else sometimes we need to have prince and princess time… and THIS princess loves to sparkle and glitter and shine…

Spa pedicure and nails ahhh..peace and serenity and LOTS OF SPARKLES πŸ’… going for a very GLITTERY look! Next week or so a massage with a massage therapist HELL I deserve this! And working on some ideas for some hip tattoos ..Get my SEXY on..GLIZTY AND RITZY

Have a beautiful Glitzy RITZY day out there πŸ˜˜πŸ€—

Ahhhh….Peaceful Start To A Fall Night πŸŒ™

All alone noone home…beautiful sounds of silence 😁 dreaming of πŸŽƒ donuts 🍩 and apple cider and mulled spice and pine…ahhhh…the fall …my favorite time of year…harvests and scary movies πŸŽ₯….dreaming of the nights to come by the fire…

Wine poured 🍷 easy dinner cooking while I dance πŸ’ƒ in the kitchen to the great sounds of this song 🀭

Kids are almost grown they do there own thing and now I have tranquility

The sound of music while I sip on red.. dance in the kitchen and look forward to a 12 hr shift tomorrow…yes look forward to it…life is good!! Life is MINE TO LIVE πŸ’–πŸ˜˜

You Never Thought I would Run! πŸ’‹

To all you beautiful men AND women out there ❀ Do me a favor πŸ˜‰ if your lucky enough to have a Amazing significant other cherish and adore and love them! Because when you lie or cheat or treat someone badly even if they love you THEY WILL LEAVE! The heart breaks but it heals! And then they find someone WHO WILL TREAT THEM LOVINGLY and you will never admit it out loud but you hurt!! Those whom read this and act smug its insecurities and truth…tonight to anyone who had to leave a bad relationship and it was hard to do…congrats πŸ‘ you love yourself and your self worth .. And if there is anyone on the fence thinking about it, your contemplating it and it feels wrong then you know what you have to do..BUT.. if you both can work it out then that’s even better yet… but to anyone who has someone who treats them really, really good and your happy hold on to it cherish it your one of the lucky!!! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ€—

NARCISSISTIC PARTNER BEHAVIORS..BEWARE πŸ’–

I decided to write this today to actually free myself from the clutter in my mind. I also hope to help someone else! Even if I reach one person who might see this and take a step back and say this seems familiar maybe I can help by sharing my experience maybe help you to realize it’s not YOU! I know this because sometimes we know something is not right but ignore things when we date someone. If I had listened to my gut I may have spared myself a lot of heartache and trauma…walking on eggshells everyday is no way to live nor is not being yourself for the sake of someone else πŸ’” I have learned from my past please hear my words and if you relate run for your life even if your in love! If people you love say this isn’t you and your not you anymore and why are you always sad and stressed..heed this advice i am about to spill… Its a HARD choice, it is painful, it is not easy, BUT if you don’t, you won’t recognize yourself and one day you will look in the mirror and try to find the person you once where…you will cry and hate yourself until you make changes! Changing is hard, facing the truth harder never allow yourself to be mistreated and never live a lie! This goes for anyone out there, any gender, as narcissists are not one particular sex.

To my past I have learned from you! I do not hate you, I don’t hold ill feelings, even if you let people close to you believe it was me and I am to blame, thats okay, in my heart I know myself, the truth and God knows! My love was real and honest and i fought hard! Until I had to say goodbye to be the woman i once was! To be the beautiful nichole not only on the outside but where it mattered because I wasn’t me when I was with you! No one sees whats behind closed doors BUT GOD DOES πŸ™ and I can honestly say I look in the mirror and I gave my all! It doesn’t matter what others see its what GOD does!

Thank you to Robbie who listened to me cry every night and everyday hours upon hours and helped me fight to regain who I was who’s soft words and love gave me strength and courage and Rick you have always been there in good and bad and you stood by me every step of the way telling me keep looking ahead your love for me has always been there through all these years and April sis you always knew, you knew what I was up against and everytime i fell you said get up and you got this and don’t you give in and don’t you quit.. and daddy i have always been your little girl and you always love me and listen to every tear that falls wiping them away and always believing in me thank for you giving me the power to face this and go i love you daddy….all of you helped me through!πŸ’–β€ Thank you still to this day robbie and rick and April and now two of my dearest friends are back in my life as they where subjected to this madness because i wasn’t aloud to talk to them also a part of narcissistic people…take away the closest to you because there is strength in numbers… so praise God ray and Rob are back in my life they have known me since highschool and never stopped loving me and they are still helping me each day to be the girl they always knew and loved! I love you all soooo much back!!! Thank you for loving me πŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ€—

Hold onto your hats its a bumpy painful ride.. here is a list behaviors to watch for in your partner!! Learn from me!!

1.) Excessive admiration and πŸ‘applause..narcissists need constant attention. They must always feel number one! I mean even over your children or a sick parent if they are second they will be critical and cruel and will get hostile they must always be top priority at all times!

2.) Control..they always must have control and I mean IN EVERYTHING! They must constantly feel superior and they will constantly put you down they will make you lose your independence its about making you need them to the point you can’t leave..you will feel like they are giving you everything until they take what they give from you when your not following the rules they will make you feel small and not in control because speaking your mind will raise fire and fury and the wrath will last hours to days..you almost apologize to regain peace hating yourself for it and when you do this they will shower you with affection and gifts only to repeat the same patterns until you learn the pattern so well you know exactly what to expect and when!

3) Projecting responsibility and spreading lies..its always your fault no matter what,it won’t matter what it is..you distracted them, you didn’t listen, you did or said something they didn’t agree with .. your wrong your always wrong!! The lies about you they will tell, omg its endless … convincing everyone around them your a bad person and selfish and dishonest…they hide the evil brewing in there tactics and schemes and the ones close to them never will believe you because they are so convincing…Dr Jeckell Mr Hyde deal! It’s sinster and it hurts like hell! Wait until you leave you will be projected as the worst person in the world because they made everyone believe on the surface they treat you soo good and you have it made but your ungratefullness is Atrocious! As the narcissists display a evil empathy but only when its to there advantage!

4.) Gaslighting and stonewalling …oh holy hell this is horrible! They will convince you to second guess your sanity and that what you remember is just a fragment of your imagination. It doesn’t matter what they said or did they will never admit to it …you’ll stand there in your truth knowing what your saying is factual but when presented they can twist and turn anything into making you think your losing your sanity..and if you don’t agree with them they will bash and scream and break you down not answering calls or texts until your so desperate for peace you collapse and give in to restore normalcy..well what you believe in your scattered mind to be normal! The normal insanity of living a lie! The normal life in a relationship with a narricist!!

If anyone ever goes through what I have please remember it is NOT YOU! Also confide and reach out to others who love you! Seek outside counseling or your church, cry or scream or yell its okay, LET IT OUT! It will take time to see your life through a different lens lean on those who remember who you once where let them guide you home …pray and pray again and again for the strength to leave DO NOT LET FEAR CONTROL YOU! Let the heart break it will heal, your self worth is more then then the feelings for that person! Run for your life don’t look back until your strong enough to admit where you where was NOT YOUR FAULT you where Psychologically abused. Yes it is abuse…yes it will take years to heal the trauma and the damage is there BUT IT DOESN’T OWN YOU! Your beautiful, gifted and I promise your will is stronger then you think at your weakest moments you will find strength in the truth!! Be you and be proud!! Your worth it!! πŸ€—β€πŸ’–