Life’s Unfair Games Again!

Sitting in a room with dim light i face truths I have faced many times..pain! Strong enough to admit I am not good at poker because I can’t keep a poker face to save my life makes me also see i am really bad at chess in what moves I make in life! I seem to constantly make the wrong moves maybe its time to call…checkmate!

Tonight I feel pain, sadness but its okay truths are important as is my heart and soul and the immense interquirty I hold! While not perfect I do strive for honesty and love and fight for what’s right and what I believe in. Even if I lose i know I gave my all and my best shot!! I am a fighter not a quiter! Even when i lose my way there is another day!

Tonight candles lit wine red of course overflowing, dry on my lips of tears, gazing out the stained window at the nightfall wishing my heart would harden quickly if ever! Drink the red eat pizza and watch a scary movie..distraction maybe but mind carrying on in its on horror and the repeated mistakes I make…need to reach out to friends and family and know its okay to say…i need you! We all need someone sometimes and it’s okay to say things like, I am sorry, I am in pain, I am lost, knowing people love you unconditionally will help lead you where you belong!

To my friends and family that TRULY know me and TRULY love me knowing I give my all in everything I say or do and that my heart is gentle and full of love…tonight I admit.. I NEED YOU! β€πŸ’–πŸ’œ

Author: glitzyritzymommy

Hi my name is nikki my nickname is sparkles. I am a glitzy fun loving mother of three wonderful children and a glammy mom-mom to two beautiful grandbabies. My life and heart are full! My daddy is still my world! My education is a certified medical assistant and i love the color pink my favorite holidays are halloween, 4th of july, christmas. I love God and life! These are the hardest years and the best years i just want to live life to the fullest! :)

61 thoughts on “Life’s Unfair Games Again!”

  1. Sending huge hugs your way and much love and light. We try to be so strong all the time, always trying to fend for ourselves, seldom asking for help. If we feel tired and exhausted it is not because we are lazy, but because we’ve been strong for too long. Sometimes we just need to lay our weapons down and recharge. I truly hope you have someone you can do that with, whether in person or energetically. I just left a comment for you that I get you and I often feel the passion as well as the pain in your words. Tonight and always I remind you that although I might be someone you have never met in person, but I will always be someone here for you in whatever form you need me to be. You’re not alone beautiful soul, let the troubles pass. I know it’s hard, but they always do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This means the world to me! For so long I could never admit the pain inside and how no matter what I do when I think i finally find happiness its brought down by heartache and obstacles or in the past filled with abuse and trauma…i am so exhausted but keep fighting hoping like many I will find relief and rest! I could cry reading your love thank you! I’d love To chat sometime your a beautiful person and the its the same for you i would be here for you as well…strength in numbers and we all could use a ear β€πŸ’œπŸ˜˜ love to u

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s because we are fighters and have been told to get it together. In my world feelings were a sign of weakness and you always had to preserve that strengths on the outside. It was exhausting and it took me a long time until I finally learned that showing your feelings, and being vulnerable is a strengths many don’t process.
        I am always here if you need me and thank you for the same.
        Much light and love to you β€οΈπŸ¦‹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Good for you and it is what you deserve. It’s fair and although we set that expectation, we can still be polite about it. There are things I will never again settle for but I also try to not let the the past define me. Kind of like everyone is innocent until they prove me different. πŸ˜‰

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      3. I can’t settle again I set a deadline for everything if something feels wrong for too long I need to stop it too many times my gut says one thing and I listen to my damn heart all my heart has done has lead me to one mess after another .
        Praying this time especially during this depressing time in the world that someday the path will be easier brighter and more fun! I wish you love peace and happiness my special friend ❀ and I agree with all you said above! You deserve all the best in life your a beautiful person 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      4. And you shouldn’t have. Rely on your gut instinct, it always knows, but don’t close your heart if you can. It’s the seat of where love lives and just because somebody couldn’t value you before and see the beautiful soul you are is not a reason to deny this love from the special person, the one you will meet when the time is right. Big hugs ❀️

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      5. You are most welcome and you got this. I see you and much beauty awaits when the baggage is shed and your heart is ready to love in ways you never thought possible. Get excited, because I know that β€œthe one” will erase all this suffering and hug you so tight to squeeze all the broken pieces back together. ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

      6. You are most welcome and there is more to be shared. In private πŸ˜‰. What I love is that you have chosen the positive path, not letting the bad define you. It takes strengths and courage and I see you my friend ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I’d love to chat probably could write a book on my past disasters maybe we could write one together what a best seller that would be 🀣🀣🀣🀣
        Yes in all honesty I agree with you as you share the same courage and strength and your Beautiful inside and out ….we will definitely catch up i will definitely give you a private email and number …much love to you ❀ πŸ’›

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Haha that sounds like a plan and it would be a huge novel for sure. And a bestseller πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
        Thank you for your kind words Nicole, you have a beautiful heart and spirit. Much love to you and have a great weekend. ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

      9. I’m so glad for you. For me not so much and I am in middle of wildfires that are burning around me. Still safe so far, despite the evacuations. Fingers crossed it’s kind of scary.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Sorry this is late and haven’t been on here much. All posts were ore scheduled and I hope you didn’t worry too much. Evacuations have been lifted in my area although the fire is still at large and it’s just awful. The smoke is at unhealthy air quality and I continue to pray for the first responders, Fire fighters, wildlife and all involved. Thank you for thinking of me. ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

      11. They sure are. I got to see some of them come up from other towns to help. I stopped and had to thank one of the men, getting all emotional and choked up inside. He looked me and I guess he noticed how touched I was. He nodded and said β€œIt’s no problem at all.” ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. We love you too, Dearest!! Promises forever and always, no matter what!! True Friends will always be there- unconditionally for You!! You are honest and true, kind and thoughtful and full of love for everyone!! Don’t think about the past or dwell on or keep regrets. Look to the future and tomorrow and the happiness and joy that is waiting for you there, Love!!! Those who love you unconditionally will always be bonded to you and you to them!!
    Don’t talk about Checkmate!!! That is the final surrender and you still have many happy days before time Checkmates you!!
    LAHSW
    xoxo
    πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸ’•πŸŒΉ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was a very uplifting and beautiful comment ❀ thank you so very much! It was all true what you said and maybe I need to read this a few times…thanks for the sentiment touch and heartfelt words ❀ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I think you are right – maybe read it as a daily affirmation, inspiration?? It’s all true, copy these words and post it on your bathroom mirror so you can read it at least twice a day – “Look to the future and tomorrow and the happiness and joy that is waiting for you there, Love!!! Those who love you unconditionally will always be bonded to you and you to them!!” All True, Dearest!!
        xoxo
        πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸŒΉπŸ’•

        Liked by 1 person

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