Sitting in a room with dim light i face truths I have faced many times..pain! Strong enough to admit I am not good at poker because I can’t keep a poker face to save my life makes me also see i am really bad at chess in what moves I make in life! I seem to constantly make the wrong moves maybe its time to call…checkmate!
Tonight I feel pain, sadness but its okay truths are important as is my heart and soul and the immense interquirty I hold! While not perfect I do strive for honesty and love and fight for what’s right and what I believe in. Even if I lose i know I gave my all and my best shot!! I am a fighter not a quiter! Even when i lose my way there is another day!
Tonight candles lit wine red of course overflowing, dry on my lips of tears, gazing out the stained window at the nightfall wishing my heart would harden quickly if ever! Drink the red eat pizza and watch a scary movie..distraction maybe but mind carrying on in its on horror and the repeated mistakes I make…need to reach out to friends and family and know its okay to say…i need you! We all need someone sometimes and it’s okay to say things like, I am sorry, I am in pain, I am lost, knowing people love you unconditionally will help lead you where you belong!
To my friends and family that TRULY know me and TRULY love me knowing I give my all in everything I say or do and that my heart is gentle and full of love…tonight I admit.. I NEED YOU! ❤💖💜