Gripping Tight Screaming Loudly πŸ˜‘😀

As a blogger and a poet writing has become a very big part of my life from the age of 17 I knew I had a talent in writing and expressing my emotions! Finally in my 40s I did something about it! I also believe that true talent means one can express openly there feelings and flaws and ups and downs without hindrance nor prejudice leaving me to believe this is for most of us an outlet of sorts like teenager with a journal. Obviously as a teen we resort to hiding our feelings and flaws and emotions from not only our parents but the world. As an adult some continue to keep these same traits while writers like ourselves have no secrecy as writing is truly whom we are!!

I always again pride myself on being the true person I reveal on here. In good or bad I have a tendency to retain true to myself and others without worrying whom will see the real me as i want those in the world to know and love me for the person I am inside πŸ’– with that said i usually error on the side of caution although more of a pessimist i think that may not be exactly true i think i am more of a realist. I think i have made some grave decisions that have brought me to this place in time and have spent the last 13 years in total regret and remorse but I still put one foot in front of the other and focus on the new changes ahead..reminding myself that past does not define me and the people I had let into my life let me down not the other way around as I gave my true self and heart and swear from this moment on those in my life will be completely different then those I let in prior as not to live another day in sadness or regret..i take back my life and myself πŸ’–

So why do i say gripping tightly screaming loudly..well I just pulled over on the side of the road gripping the steering wheel and ready to scream so loudly as to release all the pressure I feel and have had pent up for many years..as of sound mind no mental disorders and as a person whom loves and will do anything for anyone ..I like any of you have a breaking point..and its boiling over right now…

Trying to do everything at this current moment has gotten the best of me while this could pass in 5 minutes i need the world to let up a bit and untangle this web that has trapped me for so long…the dark clouds need to disappear and life needs to bring me sunshine without disappointment or stress.

I have many things beautiful happening however I am being pulled like a rubber toy and soon will break…i lost a 1,000 dollars today dont ask me i don’t know..i am getting ready to move and with the excitement is severe stress as I am responsible for my children..speaking of which all pull at me at the same time as others are too and not realizing that I am human not one of super powers and I am being pushed and pulled in so many directions its hard to focus and regain mental clarity…i wish for more gentleness and understanding and support….i am the true building block and foundation let up a bit because a poor foundation will crumble and then what’s left is dust..

Gripping tightly screaming loudly please God make it all stop!!

Author: glitzyritzymommy

Hi my name is nikki my nickname is sparkles. I am a glitzy fun loving mother of three wonderful children and a glammy mom-mom to two beautiful grandbabies. My life and heart are full! My daddy is still my world! My education is a certified medical assistant and i love the color pink my favorite holidays are halloween, 4th of july, christmas. I love God and life! These are the hardest years and the best years i just want to live life to the fullest! :)

34 thoughts on “Gripping Tight Screaming Loudly πŸ˜‘😀”

  1. I sincerely hope you find it. I’ll never forget the summer I did that exact same thing. Dad was so upset with me and for some reason, the teen in me wasn’t concerned. I’d earned it and managed to put it somewhere..Never did find it.
    You are enjoyable to read and great fun to follow. Safe moving and blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh no!!! So sorry to hear about this, Nikki!!! I hope that you are able to find/recover your loss!!! I know this is a huge blow and not what you needed, to be sure! How does that saying go, “When it rains, it pours”! Will be praying for a positive resolution and calm for you, My Dear!
    xoxo
    πŸ˜˜πŸ’•πŸŒΉ

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Girl, I think everyone needs a good scream once in a while….
    I can’t tell you how many times I have stepped outside and just let it happen. It’s kind of therapeutic and releases so much tension.

    Life can be hard and I think so often we out so much on ourselves without realizing we are just human beings with a soul and a spirit that seeks nothing but goodness.

    Stay in the right my beautiful friend! 🌸❀️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks acquiescentsoul πŸ’– that means a lot and I agree with you as i walk among past regrets of people i let into my life..i harbor pain I thought I could control because I gave my all when others pretended too…i can’t do this to myself ever again…i think the freedom and space I thought I desired was nothing more then me running from delusional love love that was conditional and cruel…i actually like committing and thrive to feel that everlasting love we all so deserve πŸ’–

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks my friend that means sooo much as are you!! 😊 I need the grey clouds to fade the rain to stop and the sun to appear and stay awhile πŸ’œ i can’t keep staying in these cloudy days i am full of light and want to shine again ✨

        Liked by 2 people

      2. The wind of change will blow, the grey clouds will melt away and the glorious light will peek through before becoming all encompassing

        Keep the faith. Blessed be 😊

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.